How do disagreements come about? Looking back from my encounters,
I discovered that disagreements usually come from two common sources—criticisms
that found its way back to the person being criticized and another comes from
having an opinion, plan or proposition that needs to prevail over another. Let’s
deal with the first source and how to translate it into a blessing. Here’s what
I’ve come across to think about from a certain person named “H.G.B.” who
observed, “Criticism is always difficult
to accept, but if we receive it with humility and a desire to improve our
character it can be very helpful. Only a fool does not profit when he is
rebuked for his mistakes. Several years ago I read a helpful article on this subject.
It stated that when we are criticized we ought to ask ourselves whether the
criticism contains any truth. If it does, we should learn from it, even when it
is not given with the right motivation and in the right spirit.
The article then
offered these four suggestions: (1) Commit the matter instantly to God, asking
Him to remove all resentment or counter criticism on your part and teach you
the needed lessons. (2) Remember that we are all great sinners and that the one
who has criticized us does not begin to know the worst about us. (3) If you
have made a mistake or committed a sin, humbly and frankly confess it to God
and to anyone you may have injured. (4) Be willing to learn afresh that you are
not infallible and that you needed God's grace and wisdom every moment of the
day to keep on the straight path. When we are criticized, let's accept what is
true and act upon it, thereby becoming a stronger person. He who profits from
rebuke is wise.”
Following such great insights will surely transform any criticism coming our way into a blessing. Always remember that no matter what we do, it is a fact that there are always criticisms coming from people who can’t afford not to criticize. Having been a pastor for many years, I have learned to deal with them carefully. The way I deal with them is this: I usually judge any criticism I received with thorough assessment of its truth and realism. If they can help me improve whatever it was I was being criticized, then it becomes a blessing for my own benefit and even appreciates it as coming from a concerned person. But if and when the criticism is malicious and without merit whatsoever after careful analysis, then I would dismiss it out rightly as if I did not hear anything. I need to make a choice to cause me to be discouraged about it or transform it as a blessing.
In regards to the other aspect of disagreement I’ve
mentioned above, one example that I’ve come across came from the Scriptures: Acts
15:36-40 showed how disagreements can even affect those that are followers of
Jesus: “And after some days Paul said to
Barnabas, "Let us return and visit the brothers in every city where we
proclaimed the word of the Lord, and see how they are." Now Barnabas
wanted to take with them John called Mark. But Paul thought best not to take
with them one who had withdrawn from them in Pamphylia and had not gone with
them to the work. And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated
from each other. Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus, but
Paul chose Silas and departed, having been commended by the brothers to the
grace of the Lord” (ESV).
Clearly, Paul and Barnabas had a disagreement that causes
them to be separated with one another due to John Mark, being Barnabas’ cousin
(Colossians 4:10). They may have separated but the blessing resulting from it
was two missionary teams spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ instead of one.
However, the story did not end there but definitely produced interesting
outcomes afterwards: John Mark became the author of the Gospel of Mark and even
though Paul disliked him in this story, John Mark became a companion of Paul in
his missionary journey eventually, “Luke
alone is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is very useful to me for ministry” (2 Timothy 4:11). See
how everything turned out for the best and ultimately, God has His way of
transforming what seems bad towards His plan for humanity’s salvation and for
His servant’s benefit. Don’t immediately jump to conclusions in every
disagreements you encounter, they may be coupled with unexpected blessing when
dealt with properly and biblically.
Let’s talk again!
