Somebody said, “Marriage
is a journey toward an unknown destination -- the discovery that people must
share not only what they don't know about each other, but what they don't know
about themselves.” I believe that this speaks so much truth for any married
couple to dwell on and think about. Having been married for almost 20 years now,
I can attest that discoveries is still happening and I’m convinced that a
lifetime is not enough to do so. Thus, marriage needs to be treated as a
triathlon that God Himself can only sustain and by the mutual love of the
husband and wife. It is indeed a journey of endurance “until death do you part.”
What does the Scripture says to warrant a successful
marriage life? Colossians 3:18-19 states explicitly what needs to be applied: “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is
fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”
What does this mean for the wife? Submission means respect as Ephesians 5:33b
shows: “…let the wife see that she
respects her husband.” The extent of this submission was also given“…as is fitting in the Lord.” On the
other hand, the Scripture provided the specific role of the husband: “…love your wives and do not be harsh with
them.” How would the husband love their wife? A level of measurement was
specified in Ephesians 5:33a “However,
let each one of you love his wife as
himself…”
Chuck Swindoll in his book, “His Needs, Her Needs” gave important
insights regarding the five major needs of women IN marriage, i.e., a) Affection; b) Conversation; c) Honesty
and openness; d) Financial support; and e) Family commitment. Without
forgetting regarding the five major needs of men IN marriage, i.e., a) Sexual fulfillment; b) Recreational companionship;
c) An attractive spouse; d) Domestic support; e) Admiration. With these
excellent observations, I would like to affirm that they undeniably speak so
true to all husbands and wives. Thus, I would like to urge you to consider them
carefully and to apply them seriously. I guarantee that you will never go
wrong.
In addition, allow me to provide some important elements to
remind all married couples and unmarried people how love in marriage must
operate decisively:
1. FOR
THE UNMARRIED COUPLE: Love begins at courtship between a single
man and a single woman as Proverbs 18:22 states, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the
Lord.” Next, love is manifested at the wedding day between a man
and a woman. Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a
man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they
shall become one flesh.”
2. FOR
THE MARRIED COUPLE: Love must be cultivated during marriage relationship between
a husband and the wife as Ecclesiastes
9:9 states, “Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all
the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is
your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun.” Next,
love must become the bond that holds the marriage vows between a
husband and the wife until death. Colossians 3:14 “And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in
perfect harmony.” Lastly, love must produce the legacy of the husband and
the wife to their children. Ephesians 5:25-33 gave an excellent comparison that
husband must imitate to what Christ did for His church, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved
the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having
cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present
the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing,
that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should
love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For
no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ
does the church…”
Let me end by saying that the key
to a successful bond of love in marriage life is no other than the Lord Jesus
Christ. It takes three that includes God to make a marriage long lasting and
complete. Two people cannot do it but two people with the Lord Jesus can go a
long way “until death do you part.”
Let’s talk again!
